A book about friendship

Will you be my friend?

Friendship …in a lonely age book cover

In a world where so many of us feel alone, friendship may be one of the simplest—and most meaningful—ways to stay connected. This book is an invitation to pause, reflect on the friendships that have shaped us, and perhaps reach out to someone who matters.

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100+ readers exploring friendship with us

The book

Why this book?

The book is about the human bond we call friendship – flawed, stubborn, surprising and sometimes close to miraculous. It's written by someone who has spent decades paying attention to how people show up for one another, and how they fail to. It may be obvious to some but it's worth saying that friendship isn't an idea or theory. It's a way of being present to another person.

The book was born from the gratitude the author had for his own friends and a sense that many of us lost something as we grew older — the willingness to ask for friendship and offer it. Is it really lost, though? Even in our adult lives, we can still choose it. The author writes with an inclusive reach across and outside of traditional faiths.

At the close of each chapter you will find prompts offered to help you reflect on your own friendships as you read. In a time when so many of us feel alone, this book is a companion reminder that friendship is still possible, still worth the trouble, and still one of the ways we stay most alive in the world.

What people are saying

What people are saying about the book

“A major synthesis of a variety of wisdom traditions and the author's own experiences. A much needed resource at this current time.”

Thomas Long, Ph.D. Retired professor of English, University of Connecticut

“My empathy with others increased, as well as my emotional awareness overall. It helped me be more self-aware and work on becoming a more compassionate friend.”

Evan Ingersoll, Ph.D. Biobehavioral Sciences, University of Connecticut

“A culmination of decades of introspection. If you've ever felt lonely, read it.”

Jean Ng New York City

“This is a superb summary of friendship and its importance in our lives.”

Jim Nowicki Volunteer Prison Ministry

“Here philosophy meets the essay form.... The first five chapters could stand the test of time as representative of our modern age.”

Chuck Selvaggio English teacher

“The more we read, the more curious we became about what friendship really is.”

Holly and Walt Galloway Rhode Island

“...It reminded me why I have only a handful of people I truly love, respect, and call my friends.”

Pilar Pennsylvania

“The book very skillfully moves one from head to heart.”

Blair Anderson Minnesota elder

“The deeper I went, the more compelling it became.”

George Sawin LICSW, Massachusetts

“The footnotes are rigorous; they establish that we're not inventing friendship anew, but participating in an ancient and ongoing dialogue about human connection. This level of care—this refusal to oversimplify—made me trust the book deeply.”

Karen RN, a Nurse, Delaware

“What stood out was the deep discussion of loneliness and how, despite being more technologically connected than ever, so many people are experiencing a deeper sense of isolation.”

Liz Pol Chicago

“You’ve heard of page-turners and books you can’t put down. This is one you can’t turn a page of without picking up an insight.”

Sheldon Bart Writer, Explorer, Author

Kahlil Gibran

Illustrations from the book

The illustrations of the book draw from the work of Kahlil Gibran. Gibran was a Lebanese-American writer, poet, and artist best known for his timeless reflections on love, friendship, spirituality, and the human experience. In this book, his art and ideas offer a visual and philosophical lens through which to reflect on the many dimensions of friendship. The chapters of the book come alive with his illustrations.

Illustration Plate 13 by Kahlil Gibran
Plate 13 · Kahlil Gibran
Illustration Plate 20 by Kahlil Gibran
Plate 20 · Kahlil Gibran
Illustration Plate 31 by Kahlil Gibran
Plate 31 · Kahlil Gibran
Explore the Illustrations

Your story

Would You Share Your Own Friendship Story?

Would you share a friendship story with us — up to 300 words? We may lightly edit for length, but we will never change what you are saying.

Maybe share a friendship that changed the shape of your life, or a moment you felt profoundly alone and what your friend did that helped? We'd love to hear what draws you to reflect on friendship overall.

Your story, in your own words.

If sharing: